As you read through our blog, you’ll see that parental alienation is a very real problem that affects many children and parents across the United States. If you’re on the receiving end of that alienation, then you can quickly see your relationship with your child transformed in a negative way, which the other parent might then use as evidence to try to restrict the amount of time that you get to spend with your child. The alienation can also be extremely harmful to your child. That can be incredibly stressful to think about, but dealing with it in the moment can be even more difficult. After all, you’re probably not a psychologist who can work with your child to help correct their perception of you.
That said, there are steps that you can take to try to both gather evidence of alienation and make the time you spend with your child more meaningful. Let’s look at some of them here so that you won’t feel quite as hopeless as you try to navigate a child custody case involving parental alienation.
Tips when visiting your child
Depending on the severity of the alienation in play, it can be challenging to visit with your child. You might be hit with unfair and harsh criticisms, or your child may refuse to interact with you during scheduled visitation. As hard as it can be, you should try taking the following steps to gather evidence of parental alienation and increase the quality of the time you get to spend with your child:
- Lay the framework: Your child’s behavior during visitation is likely molded by what they’ve been told and taught by the other parent. Therefore, if your child starts to get out of hand, it’s a good idea to inform them of the inappropriateness of their behavior, that you still love them, that their behaviors may reflect poorly on the other parent and that those behaviors may be brought up in court, assuming your child is already aware of the court proceedings. Since alienated children will often do whatever they can to protect the alienating parent, this oftentimes will correct the behavior in question. While you may need to repeat these assertions one or two more times, try to avoid lengthy, drawn-out conversations about it. This will help you retain control of the visit.
- Actually parent: A lot of parents who are embroiled in parental alienation are afraid to actually parent their children because they’re worried that their actions will be misconstrued and lead to further alienation. While that’s a legitimate concern, you still have to be a parent. Take your child’s phone from them if they continue to communicate with the other parent during your parenting time and refuse to stop. Implement consequences if your child breaks the rules. Just make sure everything you do is justified and reasonable in light of the circumstances.
- Document everything: Documentation and a clear recollection of events is crucial in a parental alienation case. It’s therefore a good idea to keep detailed notes about the interactions you have with your child, both positive and negative. Don’t minimize or exaggerate in these notes, either.
Do you need additional help dealing with parental alienation?
If so, then now is the time to get to work building a legal strategy that takes aim at stopping alienating behavior. By being thorough and aggressive in this regard, you stand a chance of correcting what seems like something uncontrollable and recovering your relationship with your child. If you want to learn more about how to do that, then we encourage you to continue reading up on parental alienation and the legal strategies that are effective in curtailing it.