When you are going through a high-conflict custody battle, you might soon realize you are the victim of parental alienation.
Parental alienation is one parent attempting to poison the children’s minds against the other parent to permanently damage their relationship. There are many ways the parent does this, such as talking negatively about the other parent or blocking another parent’s access to the children.
By now, the term parental alienation is familiar to most courts. The problem is that as the concept of parental alienation becomes more common, courts may not take your accusation of parental alienation seriously.
If you accuse your co-parent of parental alienation without proof, the court might assume you are using it as an excuse to make up for your own deficient parenting. Or you could be accused of focusing too much on what is wrong with the other parent rather than the children’s best interest.
So, how can you prove that you are legitimately a victim of parental alienation? Here are some ideas.
Keep records of all communication
Keep detailed records. You want your parental alienation argument to involve more than your word against your co-parents. You need documentation to back up your claim.
Documentation can include texts, emails or other written communication between you and your co-parent that highlight attempts by your co-parent to alienate you from your children.
Communications between you and your children can also be helpful if your children make statements about you that have no basis in fact but appear to be opinions based on what someone else told them.
See if you can find witnesses who have heard or seen your co-parent talk negatively about you in front of the children. These could include family members, neighbors or teachers.
Social media posts
Review your co-parents social media for public posts about you. You might be surprised at what you find. It is not uncommon for parents to vent their frustrations about another parent on social media. These posts can be strong evidence in a parental alienation case.
A denial of custody or visitation time is a major sign of parental alienation. You have a right to see and develop a meaningful relationship with your children.
However, to prove you have been denied chances to see your children, you must usually do more than testify about it in court. Record each date and time you were denied a visit and the reasons you were given for the denial. Be ready to provide detailed testimony about each time.
The importance of acting quickly
When your co-parent starts expressing signs of parental alienation, it is important to address the issue right away. Letting it go on for too long can damage your relationship with your children and affect your children’s mental health.
Start with having a direct and honest conversation with your co-parent. Do it at a convenient time for both of you in a private place. Do not involve others, such as new partners or stepparents, in the conversation and never do it in front of the children.
Do not accuse or blame your co-parent. Tell them calmly and respectfully what you have been noticing and ask how the two of you can be better co-parents.
If the conversation is not productive, it might be time to seek legal help and make your arguments to a court.