Parental alienation tears families apart. Because of one parent’s untruths and manipulations, children are denied important relationships that can have a positive influence in their lives.
Proactive steps exist that can help to both avoid and fight parental alienation.
- Do not hold back your feelings – Use every opportunity to see or talk to your child, taking the time necessary to tell them how much you love them and want to be with them.
- Keep records of refusals – Document every attempt that you made to contact your kids, only to be rebuffed. Log every visit and phone call and save any returned mail.
- Take the pressure off your kids – Children of divorce should not have to take sides. Put their happiness first and remind them that they are free to choose whom they love and who loves them. Allow them to share their feelings and concerns without judgment.
- Law enforcement and courts are valid options – While police typically avoid getting involved in family issues, you may need a witness to parenting exchanges or helping to enforce a custody agreement.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right – Tempting as it may be, avoid anger, bitterness and vindictiveness. Take the high road and set an example of peace and civility to your children.
- Speak truth to power – Do not be afraid to prove alienation allegations wrong. Overcome how your spouse is portraying you to your children. Show them your good qualities to refute the lies your ex is telling them. Children are smart. They will put the pieces together on their own.
- Don’t add fuel to the fire – You cannot control childish behavior. Neither can you prevent extreme tactics from someone who is mentally unbalanced and displays narcissistic behavior. Do your best to be a stable parent.
Alienation tactics succeed far too often, taking children away from parents for years. As children get older, many see through the lies of the past and reunite with parents. Always be at the ready to welcome them back.